I’m tired of feeling second rate. When. When do I find my happy. Sure this is an absolute word vomit post…but the reality is, this is life. It’s never perfect, and god damn if yours is…how? How did you find it? I want to find my person. I want to find that person who I can trust, feel safe with, share a life with, but is also willing and able to give me the space I need. Or maybe alternatively; I haven’t found the person yet that I don’t need space from. I guess, as the saying goes, only time will tell.
Election Day
4 years ago on Election Day, I met someone I would quickly, probably too quickly, fall deeply in love with. 4 years later I still think about him. I still well up in tears, I still mourn the loss of our relationship. I woke up after Election Day 4 years ago with hope. Not because of the outcome but because I had met someone I knew would become special to me. We bridged so many gaps. Age, backgrounds, ethnicities. I woke up looking forward to growing with him. I felt that I had found a support system.
Today, 4 years later, I don’t have the same hope in a future love. But I do have stronger ground beneath my feet, not on the back of someone else, because I’ve spent 4 years working on myself. Working to rebuild myself after I was so broken from that relationship. I still love him, even though he’s married. I think a part of me always will, and while I still weep for my lost love, I know that whatever tomorrow brings I’m stronger now. I can handle more now. So whatever happens, I know the biggest difference I can make is being the best person I can be, the strongest, kindest person I can be. And I can only hope that others feel the same.
2nd Chunk of Little Musings
Get out, see more, do more. You’ll be better for it and the world will be better for it. Exposure to new things will always adjust your perspective.
Humanity is the recognition of another as equal and deserving of respect and benevolence and the same is expected onto oneself. What happened to humanity?
Moments are fleeting, enjoy the good ones while they’re happening instead of worrying about how long they may last. Be present. Be engaged. Be thankful. This is hard for me.
They road may be the most stable thing I’ve had in my life. Even if its potholed,dirt, or just utterly broken. I can still escape, I can still find a way back to myself on the road. Give me travel, give me self.
First Chunk of Little Musings
Life is full of failures. What’s important is learning how to move past and beyond them. Learning how to be introspective can be one of the scariest skills one can acquire, but to me, its the most important. To me understanding yourself enough to take the time to grow from failure and remain open to future failure (or in my eyes future opportunities of personal growth) is the ultimate goal. Without failure how can one move beyond where they currently stand?
When you regret meeting the love of your life. A story of love lost and the demons that followed.
When your life is playing out a like a movie, but a movie you never envisioned for yourself, it’s all about finding the beauty and greatness in the individual scenes. —-I’ll remember today by this beauty. ——Don’t call me Chuck, Don’t call me Katie.
Am I running away from a reality I need to turn and face? No, I’m embracing a reality and working within it. Life on the road isn’t an escape, it’s my normal.
The road helped me learn to be introspective and with being introspective, I learned what I needed to help with my emotional and mental stability.
Embrace sadness when necessary, but don’t let it be all consuming.
We’re so insignificant compared to the globe, but it’s impossible to appreciate the world if you merely look at its size. To truly appreciate the world we live in, you have to see it from the ground. Let all the little things add up to be even more significant than just shear size. The little things, which may be comprised of a prairie landscape, a lake, a mountain, ancient ruins, slot canyons; all these things add up to be so much more significant than the size of the globe.——These experiences make the world worth exploring, not a flight overhead but a travel on ground, by tire, hoof, or foot. These experiences make life worth living. These experiences make the world more easily grasped.
What are little musings?
Here you'll find short, often one liners of ideas, working titles, opinions, feelings, emotions, pretty much anything and everything. These are just the little things I've noted down. Some of these little musing will be a jumping off point for bigger pieces later on as I develop the ideas captured in the little musings.
I may Include many little musings in a single posting or just post a single line as a whole post.
Enjoy, comment, develop your own little musings.
-Maggie